To the "T"

My dearest and ever so lovely cup of tea,

I do believe we have reached a misunderstanding. You see I requested your help to sooth a rather scratched and soar throat. Normally it is our understanding that you overly sweetened lemon and honey flavor will glide down the walls of my mouth and into my coarse throat completely covering every crevice with your calming and caring grace. However, tonight seems to be a different story. Tonight you have a spice to you. A certain tang shall I say. Now it seems your taste is almost turbid and tainted. You offer no comfort. No loving, lemony caress for me to lap up lazily. In fact your tremendously tacky taste seems to tap dance on my tongue for much longer than I would like. In all seriousness, in order to keep me sane, I recommend next time you shamelessly great me with the un-surprising steamy, smooth, and dare I say seductive refreshment that I have grown accustomed too.

That is all thank you,
Jane.

Day 1

My Favorite Song.


Land Locked Blues - By Bight Eyes



I will admit to not really liking this video, but It was the best I could find.
I do believe this is the most lyrically beautiful songs I have ever encountered. Its absolutely wonderful.





A current picture of yourself and 10 facts about you. >




1.) I dont like this picture. It kinda says "OMG LOOK AT MY PHONE." however its the most recent I have.
2.) I'm in love. Its scary.
3.) I am excited for today. It should be an adventure.
4.) I'm excited for the future. It should be an adventure.
5.) I love StarWars.
6.) I love Christmas time.
7.) I hope to go back to one of my favorite places from my childhood today.
8.) I could really go for some Chinese food
9.) I'm listening to kids of 88
10.) If you want more interesting facts read my "Thirty Things" post.
*BONUS*
11.) I love alliteration :D

Music.

I don't really know how I intend on using this blog. So far its just random posts about nothing in particular really. So I think Ill add in some structure... at least for the next 30 days. I am going to start the 30 day Music Challenge and the 30 Day photo challenge, simultaneously. Wish me luck. I guess Im a little ambitious.

Here are the rules for both.

Day 01 – Your favorite song
Day 02 – Your least favorite song
Day 03 – A song that makes you happy
Day 04 – A song that makes you sad
Day 05 – A song that reminds you of someone
Day 06 – A song that reminds of you of somewhere
Day 07 – A song that reminds you of a certain event
Day 08 – A song that you know all the words to
Day 09 – A song that you can dance to
Day 10 – A song that makes you fall asleep
Day 11 – A song from your favorite band
Day 12 – A song from a band you hate
Day 13 – A song that is a guilty pleasure
Day 14 – A song that no one would expect you to love
Day 15 – A song that describes you
Day 16 – A song that you used to love but now hate
Day 17 – A song that you hear often on the radio
Day 18 – A song that you wish you heard on the radio
Day 19 – A song from your favorite album
Day 20 – A song that you listen to when you’re angry
Day 21 – A song that you listen to when you’re happy
Day 22 – A song that you listen to when you’re sad
Day 23 – A song that you want to play at your wedding
Day 24 – A song that you want to play at your funeral
Day 25 – A song that makes you laugh
Day 26 – A song that you can play on an instrument
Day 27 – A song that you wish you could play
Day 28 – A song that makes you feel guilty
Day 29 – A song from your childhood
Day 30 – Your favorite song at this time last year






Day 01 - A picture of yourself with ten facts
Day 02 - A picture of you and the person you have been closest with the longest
Day 03 - A picture of the cast from your favorite sho
Day 04 - A picture of your night
Day 05 - A picture of your favorite memory
Day 06 - A picture of a person you'd love to trade places with for a day
Day 07 - A picture of your most treasured item
Day 08 - A picture that makes you laugh
Day 09 - A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most
Day 10 - A picture of the person you do the most ****** up things with
Day 11 - A picture of something you hate
Day 12 - A picture of something you love
Day 13 - A picture of your favorite band or artist
Day 14 - A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without
Day 15 - A picture of something you want to do before you die
Day 16 - A picture of someone who inspires you
Day 17 - A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently
Day 18 - A picture of your biggest insecurity
Day 19 - A picture and a letter
Day 20 - A picture of somewhere you'd love to travel
Day 21 - A picture of something you wish you could forget
Day 22 - A picture of something you wish you were better at
Day 23 - A picture of your favorite book
Day 24 - A picture of something you wish you could change
Day 25 - A picture of your day
Day 26 - A picture of something that means a lot to you
Day 27 - A picture of yourself and a family member
Day 28 - A picture of something you're afraid of
Day 29 - A picture that can always make you smile
Day 30 - A picture of someone you miss
Day 31 - A picture of yourself

Thirty Things

This was originally a Facebook note, one that your supposed to write and then tag yourself and a certain amount of friends in, but I think I shall post it here. Also rather than posting things I don't think you know I'd rather post things I find important to know about me.

1) I am deeply and terribly in love. I meet him my sophomore year in high school and always thought he would be completely unobtainable, but I am happy to say he is mine. I wouldn't trade him or our relationship for the world.

2) I love books. All kinds. Not just Jane Austen or Shakespeare, but also even random bits of teen fiction. Not drama series per say but books like Dog On It and other such novels.

3) I hate it when I'm debating with someone and the tell me I'm "close minded" for not seeing things the way they do. Everything I believe is supported by logic and fact and I promise you I have researched it, If I haven't I would not be stating an opposing opinion. You not liking the fact that I don't agree with you does not make me close minded.

4) I love all things geeky. Even if I don't understand it all I love the sub-culture and the people in it. And once I do understand something I typically love it.

5) I have a 0 tolerance policy on all drugs. Argue it all you want but from personal experience with people around me I have never seen it end well.

6) I don't like school. Not because I don't like learning but because I hate the system in which it bases your value in the work force and life based on tests and quizzes and homework assignments.

7) I cant spell and you can correct me and call me stupid all you want, someone once told Shakespeare "if you cannot spell a word in 3 different ways then you are an idiot." I suppose I am just more creative at spelling than others.

8) I hate it when people thing its "ballsy" or "courageous" to not care. I find quite the opposite applies in almost all circumstances. Dont you?

9) I just tried a spiced pumpkin cupcake. It was delicious. And I'd like to know where to get more.

10) As you may be able to tell by my title, I love alliteration.

11) I think Im a fairly creative individual. No I do not play an instrument but I dont think my musical literacy should determine my artistic worth.

12) I love all kinds of music. I really mean that. everything from country, to folk, to "scream'o" I love it all.

13) Coffee, and Chocolate. Thats all you need to make me happy.

14) I enjoy things like facebook and my blog and texting but if you want to really get to know me call me up, lets have coffee. I know a fantastic shop on the corner of elm and Somonauk.

15) I love any number divisible by 3 I dont know why I just do.

16) Im also afraid that if I fill my car up at a gas pump who's number is not divisible by three, something tragic Will happen.

17) I love my nieces, however I dont really like a lot of my family. It doesn't seem like their doing much with their lives at all.

18) I hope to get married someday, Preferably when Im 21 and preferably to Austin Allen.

19) I dont go to church anymore. I cant even begin to tell you how confused and distoreted my religious views may be, but what it all comes down to is that I dont know. I dont want to state for certain something I dont know.

20) Regardless of my religious views I love mission trips. I love to help people and frankly if I did nothing else the rest of my life I would be a happy woman.

21) I am writing this from Austin's apartment which these days feels more like home than my real one.

22) I'm really only doing this because I need to write a little before I can start on school work to get my mind going.

23) I love to go out some nights, but I also reallly love nothing more than popping a pizza in the oven and watching hitchhickers guide to the galaxy with my one and only.

24) Christmas is coming up and I am all too in the mood. If I had the money I would buy everyone a chirstmas present.

25) I really dislike the song "stuck like glue" by sugar land. It always gets stuck in my head and wont get out. Hatta agrees with me.

26) I love hockey but Id rather see it live than watch it on the TV.

27) I am a procrastinator like you wouldnt belive. Preatty much everything is more importatnt to me than school.

28) I have a lot of self image issues. I would really like to loose about 20lbs. and have instantly clear skin.

29) I am very politicaly conservative, and verry politcaly involved.

30) Its time to do that Biology I've been putting off... You are beautiful and I love you.

Love I suppose...

Hi... remember me?

What happened? I mean honestly, we use to be so close, you use to make me feel like I was your world and then some, but now? We bicker over every little thing. I wonder if the only reason I keep pushing the issue is because I feel the need to prove to you that I'm still alive? Although the things we fight about do really upset me...

Why cant you just start to see things from my point of view? Then again, why am I so stubborn about seeing yours? I really should work on that...

I dont even think I honestly care about the outcome anymore, could you just hold me? Thats all I really want.

I miss the little things you would do. The little text messages or e-mails that made me feel so special. I know you still love me, and I know you do so much, I dont mean to sound ungrateful, I just miss feeling like the most important thing to you. I know you have school, and thats your number one, but I wouldn't mind even being tied for number 2? Maybe even 3? 6? 9? You've said thats unrealistic, but I seem to get along quite fine...

Remember our summer? Captured in loving and tender moments, going out to eat, carnivals, seeing friends, time spent with family, staying up till 4am and being so in love. We never use to fight. Why does it seem like we cant go a week without something that upsets us? To much time together? but time apart drives us crazy...

I wish somehow this was simple. I wish that we were that couple that everyone thinks we are. What happened to that? I suppose everyone goes through it though....

However here is what I know. Every moment spent with you is a blessing in so many ways, You are my best friend and so much more. I love you. Almost everything about you, except the things that have potential to harm you. I love that silly little laugh you have when you think something is cute, I love the way you look at me with those big green eyes. I love it when you are the one who reaches for my hand, or when you send me a text just to say, "I love you" I love it when you get really excited about something I dont understand, then you try to calmly put it into words I can understand. I love that your not afraid of who you are and the things you like. I love your laid back approach on things, and how passionate you are about others. I love the way you care about people, even though Im not so sure that you notice yourself, and this is not even the tip of the iceberg of all the things I love about you. However my favorite thing about the things I love about you? That I get to love you and you love me in return, and that I hope with all my heart that love is enough.

There is nothing wrong with her

I was not expecting it, yet inside I know I was. A place I considered safe but knew she frequented. I should have known that every time I stepped out with friends for a smoke I could just as easy see her as well, after all we do have a plethora of mutual friends. Could you feel her heart sink, as I could feel mine? Here she was in person next to me, neither of us having the common decency to introduce each other, because lets face it, why the hell would we? Two people, with everything in common, but the main thing connecting us is also the same thing that makes us completely inadequate at ever being friends.

It was a rather normal evening, me and some friends sitting around watching movies, then we steeped outside. We spoke of relationships and love like so many our age do, smiling and laughing when the door opened and it was as if everything in me stopped. I was not afraid, or surprised, or hurt, but rather I was enchanted? Not so much in that there is anything particularly enchanting about her , but it was like seeing a mythical creature, and there she was. In my mind for some reason I had made her out to be something extra-ordinary, but she wasn't. There she was in an outfit that Im sure could have been found at the salvation army, yet it didn't look as awful as Im sure I secretly wished it had. Her hair was a shade of red that I had never seen before, and she was generally a little overweight. What Im getting at is that she was completely normal. As she stood next to me conversing with our friends it was all I could do to not freak out, here I was in my leggings and a long striped cardigan, hair outta pace and no make up. Granted I didnt look awful, it was beyond appropriate for a night spent watching movies with my boyfriend Austin. But I couldnt stop feeling like I needed to prove to her that I was better.

I wanted to hate her, I wanted to feel a surging wave of jealousy and pride. I didn't. Instead I looked at her and saw exactly what I never wanted to, a human. There is nothing wrong with her, she is uniquely beautiful, from what Ive heard a talented writer, she struggles just like everyone else, she loves, and she has steady friendships. There is nothing wrong with her. She just so happened to love my love before me. So why the jealousy? If it were not for his experience with her, what we have would never be this strong. As I sit here writing this, he lays next to me, we are happy and content. Why all the hype about being first? I have no idea.

I judged a book by its cover, but I didn't ever intend on reading it, unfortunate for me it was being read out-loud.

Old poetry - Scarlett sheen

So tell me I'm an angle, promise me a saint

Yet through it all a cry so faint.

The fire that maims our inhibitions

The drawing and pulling against intuition

Remorse Remorse! Was the angles cry

Lost her way in the scarlet sky

Blinded by a promised light

Falling, fading into the night

Return from the ashes and never look back

Yet the belief and sorrow can't change the fact

Breathe the apathetic tyranny

The lie that fights inside of me

Remorse Remorse! Never again.

Remorse Remorse! Cries deep within

Disenchanted, the bitter illusion

Another mistake another contusion

If I'm so wrong if I'm so right

Then why justify another night

-Jane Pearre